[01] the slayer has landed

[vampirelayer]

After dealing with an army of last-bagel-gobbling bathroom-hogging three-am-giggle-fest Slayerettes in training for months on end?  I'm pretty sure dealing with reforming one hardened criminal will feel like something of a vacation.  I mean hey, there's no looming Apocalypse, no nightly vigils at fresh grave sites (one of the many advantages of boats - that whole lack of cemeteries thing), and no one lifting my hairspray every time I turn around.

Sounds like cake.  

Or at least like one of those little Hostess cupcake things you can get out of vending machines, which aren't as good as real cake, but they're still tasty if you don't think too hard about that whole nutritional value thing. 


Oh, I should probably introduce myself.  Buffy Summers.  Slayer.  Long resume of world saving, and new resident warden.  




But no really, are there any vending machines on this boat?

Comments

A BLONDE. A BLONDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111oneone!11one

[the-ironman.livejournal.com]

Vending machines. Now there's a novel idea. That may be the best warden suggestion to date. I hope everyone's taking notes.

Tony's radar led him here before anyone else.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

If that's the best anyone's come up with so far, I'm a little worried about what the Warden Lounge looks like.

Are there donuts on Friday?

[deathmerciful.livejournal.com]

If you have dietary requirements I believe you should take it up with the kitchen staff who would most likely refuse you with a smile.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Oh they're not requirements. They're just preference... ments.

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know if you'd quite consider me hardened, Miss Summers, but you're very welcome on board.

I'm afraid I don't approve of Hostess cupcakes. Not good for the digestion.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

So that places you in the inmate category. Mentally noted. And thanks for the hello.

Sometimes things aren't good for the digestion, but they're still good for Buffy's mood.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

And here I was thinking my day couldn't get any peppier.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Just wait until I organize the barge caroling posse.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Vending... machines? They'd put a lot of people out of business. but be far less annoying than Dibbler.

[long pause whilst he thinks about this]

Do you know Spike?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Why, are there people selling black market Doritos out of their cabins?

[And whoa there, back up the truck.]

I knew Spike. Why?

[She reminds him a bit of Luna. lol]

[herbination.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the Barge, Buffy. I'm Neville, also a warden.

I'm not sure what a vending machine is, but I'm almost certain we don't have one available.

lmfao, oh god.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Hi Neville.

Where do you come from that you've never had to wrestle with a moody vending machine before?

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Buffy?

You're called Buffy.

That's not a name, that's part of a discussion at a cosmetics counter. 'Hey, what do you think of this base?' 'No, I want something in a peach, that's too buff-y.'

<33

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

And hello to you, too.

What's your name, that's so superior?

[cisskabob]

If there are vending machines, they're very well hidden. And now you've given me a craving for chocolate cake. Welcome aboard, Buffy. I'm Cissie.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Really, my evil plan involved inciting cravings in other passengers who might be more equipped to provide baked goods for general sharing.

Nice to meet you, Cissie.

[wandthief.livejournal.com]

That is a very bright, cheerful name. Welcome aboard. I am Gellert Grindelwald and I come from the same world as Neville. I am also a wizard.

And I am here because I didn't like that we had to keep that a secret.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't pick it, but I appreciate the sentiment just the same.

Wizard central here, huh? That's gotta be handy. I don't suppose you can... wizard up some chocolate, can you?

So you must be on the Warden team if you're here by choice.

[written]

[young-idealist.livejournal.com]

There's not much cake that I know of...

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Ok, new tactic: what is there?

[future-games.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure any sentence with the words "looming Apocalypse" should sound that happy.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Hey, I said there weren't looming Apocalyii. I save my doom and gloom voice for when there are.

[vampish_aleera]

Slayer of what?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Vampires. Demons. Things that go bump and hiss in the night.

[possemagnet.livejournal.com]

No vending machines and the food's rationed.

One of the many things that suck about this place.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

You have a list?

[bythe_books]

You're--

[AAGHHH MUST TAKE A MOMENT TO PROCESS THIS. Cake and slayerettes and apocalypse, what is this. Oh, wait, luckily Sam's used to weirdness:]

Right. So, I'm guessing "Slayerettes" isn't the name of a... cover band.

Welcome, er... Buffy. DCI Sam Tyler.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

You'd be correct. They're more like... little Me's in training. Lots of Me's. Think... hundreds.

Anyways, hi Sam. Nice to meet you. Care to elaborate on your acronym?

[acid_rayne]

Vampire-killer... Good.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Well, most people don't hear vampire-killer and think bad.

Unless they're evil vampires.

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Oh, well, welcome aboard, my dear. I'm afraid there isn't, that I know of, but I've only just returned myself so I could be mistaken. And I seem to have come with a sort of, erm, 'barge amnesia'...

But, you know, aside from that, lovely to meet you, Ms. Summers. My name is Aziraphale.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Returned from where? And... is that a ... common thing that everybody should worry about? Should I be taking my vitamins or something?

[whatweoncewere]

Buffy?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Angel?!

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Late to the party again as usual, fashionable as I am.

Hope you hate it here as much as I do.

/Private forever

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I wasn't sure if they were telling the truth.

You're really... alive.

Er. Figuratively... speaking.