[01] the slayer has landed

[vampirelayer]

After dealing with an army of last-bagel-gobbling bathroom-hogging three-am-giggle-fest Slayerettes in training for months on end?  I'm pretty sure dealing with reforming one hardened criminal will feel like something of a vacation.  I mean hey, there's no looming Apocalypse, no nightly vigils at fresh grave sites (one of the many advantages of boats - that whole lack of cemeteries thing), and no one lifting my hairspray every time I turn around.

Sounds like cake.  

Or at least like one of those little Hostess cupcake things you can get out of vending machines, which aren't as good as real cake, but they're still tasty if you don't think too hard about that whole nutritional value thing. 


Oh, I should probably introduce myself.  Buffy Summers.  Slayer.  Long resume of world saving, and new resident warden.  




But no really, are there any vending machines on this boat?

Comments

A BLONDE. A BLONDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111oneone!11one

[the-ironman.livejournal.com]

Vending machines. Now there's a novel idea. That may be the best warden suggestion to date. I hope everyone's taking notes.

[deathmerciful.livejournal.com]

If you have dietary requirements I believe you should take it up with the kitchen staff who would most likely refuse you with a smile.

Tony's radar led him here before anyone else.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

If that's the best anyone's come up with so far, I'm a little worried about what the Warden Lounge looks like.

Are there donuts on Friday?

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know if you'd quite consider me hardened, Miss Summers, but you're very welcome on board.

I'm afraid I don't approve of Hostess cupcakes. Not good for the digestion.

I'm a little worried that Tony and I's radars are just a little too similar in that regard.

[the-ironman.livejournal.com]

There can be. I doubt a woman with your charm is going to have an issue instating whatever you can dream up. Hawaiian shirt Tuesday? Done.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

And here I was thinking my day couldn't get any peppier.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Oh they're not requirements. They're just preference... ments.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

So that places you in the inmate category. Mentally noted. And thanks for the hello.

Sometimes things aren't good for the digestion, but they're still good for Buffy's mood.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Just wait until I organize the barge caroling posse.

[deathmerciful.livejournal.com]

Regardless, special requests are not commonly followed through. I would leave such wishes behind you, unless of course you can find another passenger with the proper devices in their own cabins to prepare such a preference... ment.

Well, it makes your life easier. METHOD RPING WUT.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed that you can establish my charm credentials from a grand total of around ten sentences. Either that, or I scent insincerity on the wind.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

{snort at his end}

Yeah, that suggestion is really going to win you the popular vote with this crowd.

[bob-fraser-snr.livejournal.com]

Ah, a walk in clean air will do the same and you won't regret it later.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

It was more of a wistful out-loud-wishing type thing than real request. But thanks for the advice, Mr...?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I guess not, if they're all as quick on the sarcasm-uptake as you.

AHAHA.

[the-ironman.livejournal.com]

Ten sentences is more than enough by statistical standards. First impressions influence approximately seventy percent of subsequent interactions, and a first impression is garnered within ten to fifteen seconds of a first meeting.

You could argue that we haven't met. I'd argue that I can admire from afar if the lady doth protest to a tour.

[cantrunfromme.livejournal.com]

Because sarcasm translates so efficiently through written text.

Fucking idiot.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Oh I get plenty of clean air. But believe me, it's not a girl's best friend the way unhealthy chocolate-type confections are.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Speaking of people who are bound to win the title of Homecoming Queen here with all the friends they must have.

Yeah, let's... not go there.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

And sixty seventy percent of all statistics are made up on the spot, blah blah blah. All things considered, I think I'll skip the banter and take you up on that tour-offer. As much as I love wandering around like a freshman on the first day of class, I'd rather not get shoved into Davey Jones' locker because I took the wrong left turn.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Vending... machines? They'd put a lot of people out of business. but be far less annoying than Dibbler.

[long pause whilst he thinks about this]

Do you know Spike?

[deathmerciful.livejournal.com]

Where would we be without our desires?

Louis de Pointe du lac, chere. A pleasure.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Why, are there people selling black market Doritos out of their cabins?

[And whoa there, back up the truck.]

I knew Spike. Why?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Nowhere fun, that's for sure.

... Now why does that sound familiar?

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

They would be in my city. But in my city, the black market's the white market and they'd be a bit pissed if a machine took their job.

[loooooonger pause. should he tell her. hm. hm. will Spike kill him? Probably, yes. But hey, he's never shied away from annoying people.]

Spike's here. I...am now thinking I should have told him about you before you about him, but what's done is done.