[01] the slayer has landed

[vampirelayer]

After dealing with an army of last-bagel-gobbling bathroom-hogging three-am-giggle-fest Slayerettes in training for months on end?  I'm pretty sure dealing with reforming one hardened criminal will feel like something of a vacation.  I mean hey, there's no looming Apocalypse, no nightly vigils at fresh grave sites (one of the many advantages of boats - that whole lack of cemeteries thing), and no one lifting my hairspray every time I turn around.

Sounds like cake.  

Or at least like one of those little Hostess cupcake things you can get out of vending machines, which aren't as good as real cake, but they're still tasty if you don't think too hard about that whole nutritional value thing. 


Oh, I should probably introduce myself.  Buffy Summers.  Slayer.  Long resume of world saving, and new resident warden.  




But no really, are there any vending machines on this boat?

Comments

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

No, it's on an entirely different planet.

[Private]

Psh. You don't think death is a barrier to anything in this day and age, do you?

I'm more aware of the difference than it first appears. Seriously, though, lots of people are dead here. Some wardens as well as inmates.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

... Beverly Hills?

[Private]

Ok, point taken. I've got plenty of experience with boomerang-death-syndrome.

Annnd apparently I should have paid more attention to the brochure for this place.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

If I'd have heard of it, I'm sure that'd be hilarious.

[Private]

It's all in the small print and the bits just-outside-of-the-picture-frame.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I'm sure.

So... bona-fide X-Files style alien then?

[Private]

... Where is he, by the way?

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

No, I'm human. Just not from Earth.

[Private]

Not entirely sure at the minute. He needs poking with a big stick, clearly. And I am your man.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Oh right. Because that sounds very... possible.

[Private]

Actually, I think I'll be keeping any and all big sticks away from him. Vampires don't exactly take to those well.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

It's entirely possible. The Disc is not Earth, and me and Captain Swing are entirely and utterly biologically human.

[private]

I know. There's a joke in there, I promise you.

Oh, sorry, I'm a bit rude. Doctor John Hix.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Captain... Swing?

[Private]

Oh right. I was just... it's a very literal... statement where I come from.

Buffy Summers. As... previously stated above. It hasn't changed.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's his name. I don't think he has a good sense of humour, I'd be careful with that.

[Private]

Noted. I just realised I hadn't mentioned mine.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I'd have a good sense of humor either, if that were my title.

[Private]

I don't know why we're filtering this part anymore.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

It should be the other way around, given that we are talking about someone else.

[Private]

You really don't want to know his first name either. Or hear him talk.

God, it's no wonder he really isn't amused by anything...

PRIVATE EVERYTHING

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Good point.

What's wrong with the way he talks? Is he... southern or something?

PRIVATE EVERYTHING - lol. actually taking the piss out my own character.

[evilbystatute.livejournal.com]

No, no... he has no sense of rhythm, it seems. Imagine what that'd do to how you talk.

PRIVATE EVERYTHING - lmao, that makes it better :3

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Imagining, and I'm totally getting the picture. I think.

PRIVATE EVERYTHING -

[pleasesmirk.livejournal.com]

Needless to say, the chances of him ever having a sense of humour decline by the minute.

PRIVATE EVERYTHING -

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Duly noting.