somewhere down the line you'll face the judgment day

justprompts : "In heaven all the interesting people are missing."  -Friedrich Nietzsche

Sure I think about it.

But only in the way back of my brain, pushing it down any time it tries to make itself too visible.

There's a certain impossibility that comes from being in love with a vampire or vampires,  including but not limited to what one is expected to do when you're getting wrinkles and can't walk, while your significant other looks like they could be your grandchild.  I mean, really, ew.  Luckily, I guess, Slayers' expiration dates usually don't leave them with a lot of Old Lady time left.

They usually die pretty young.

But yeah, that's not really the end of the problem is it?

I've been to heaven, before, you know.  I know how perfect it is.  I know what bliss is like.

I also know what's not there.  And I recognize what can probably never be there.  

It's not like you particularly care when you're in heaven, I guess.  All that bliss is distracting.  But I care now, being mortal, that neither of the two men I love the most will ever get a chance to experience that for themselves.  

For vampires, immortality is sorta a misnomer.  Eventually, you get slain.  Or stumble into a patch of sunlight.  Eventually, the game is over. 

But when you're damned from the start, what's prompting you to keep working for redemption?  Heaven's like a joke to them.

Maybe that's why I'm so in awe of Angel & Spike.  I don't want to think it's just for me that they're doing this, and I know that in Angel's case, at least, he's not.  But both of them deserve more.

And what it comes down to, I guess, is pretty simple.

I don't want to leave them behind.